Recalling past experiences..

Dear all,

I never expected to be pregnant again. To tell you the truth, both my husband and I decided when we had our fourth that that would be the absolute last time for me to go through pregnancy, delivery and the whole process. We were thinking, four dah cukup. Furthermore, during my fourth pregnancy, I developed hypertension. I had to take Methyldopa and was closely monitored by my gynae. Alhamdulillah, everything was ok and I was even lucky enough to still deliver secara normal. So lepas tu kami pun sama-sama agreed untuk redha bahawa we were not destined to get a baby girl. And we were alright with that. We told each other Allah knows best.

And so I went on to find out out the best possible method of contraception for us. Tubal ligation was out of the question as I was still young, 33 at the time and Dr. said risk of ectopic pregnancy tinggi... AND... Dr. Stressed that I might change my mind later and want a reversal procedure. And so the best thing was the IUCD. It has a high success rate. Or so I thought.....

Four years on, with the IUCD still intact, I got pregnant again! It's quite funny really as I didn't realized I was pregnant until
the 9th week of pregnancy. Ye lah, kita kan pakai contraceptive, mana nak sangka got pregnant kan. The first month after conception tu was during the end of the year school holiday. The month of December. Masa tu I punya la rajin bersenam. Brisk walk/slow jog tiap hari around the neighborhood n twice a week siap pegi jogging kat Taman Tasik Shah Alam. That time rasa energetic je but looking back, I mmg asyik haus n kerap pegi toilet. But I thot sbb I byk minum air! Then ada juga la I rasa cam dizzy after jogging, I thought I x cukup stamina! Pastu, lepas jogging I rasa letih lain mcm. Kadang mcm rasa nk demam! I started rasa x sedap hati. At that time my husband banyak events di luar KL/Sel. So one late night when I felt so tired n had numerous trips to the loo, I called my husband. I said I suspect I hv some kind of disease. Ada something not right with my body. And told him semua lah yg I rasa & my suspicion that I might hv such n such penyakit due to the symptoms I'm getting. Husband was so worried and said nnt dia balik kita pergi buat full medical check-up. I told him ok, n for him x to worry so much.

When he got back, we actually had to balik his kampung in Terengganu for a small kenduri. So I said takpe kot, bila balik KL semula baru lah pergi hospital for check-up. So kitorang balik kg. At kg, when I sarungkan baju kurung raya tahun lepas tu, I felt it was just nice around the waist padahal during raya lain tu longgar kena lipat2. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. My belly mcm a bit keras & naik di bhgn atas. My heart accelerated. I was thinking could it be? I quickly calculated my last time I had my menses. I was gobsmacked! I mcm x boleh percaya. Then I whispered my suspicion to hubby. So shocked was he that he did not speak to me nearly a whole day after that. Kecik hati la jugak kan but then well maybe he was trying to digest and came to terms of the probability that what I said holds water.

Anyway, I pulak after the discovery, had no doubt that it was true. I was 100% sure I was 'knocked-up'! My feelings at that time? Susah nak cakap. I was shocked. I was nervous. It was totally unexpected. I wasn't prepared. I was not sure I could go through all of that one more time. Forgive me, but that's how I felt.

Until I saw the little bean for the first time. The ultrasound scan showed me its heart beating rapidly, showing me it was determined to stay. That we were meant to meet. That it had fought so hard to be there, to be my baby. My fifth child. My miracle. I was overwhelmed with a feeling so strong and love so deep for that tiny little thing on the screen. I was blessed. I was humbled by God's generosity towards me.

And now I'm in my 19th week of pregnancy. Baru halfway. Yes, I am taking Methyl Dopa cos I hv hypertension n it's not going away so easily. Apart from my gynae, I regularly see my cardiologist, to keep my blood pressure under control. I try to take things easy. Try to not to fret about things. Hopefully I will hv a smooth pregnancy throughout n a smooth delivery too.

Had my check-up last two says n it looked like a pink muffin. Hopefully betul la ;-) Mommy ni x dapat menahan diri dari menjenguk baby stuff last Sunday dan terjadilah pembelian2 yg menyeronokkan. Isk isk. Cannot be helped.

And now my rambling today must stop here. Be careful semua!


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We are pregnant!

Heya peepos!

Latest news from our homefront:




Yes, pregnant for the fifth time ;-) 17 weeks now. Another superhero? Wait & see ;-D

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Life As It Is..

Hey, lama tak sembang kat sini kan. Bersawang dah my happy place ni. Ada lagi tak yang datang menjengah agaknya ya? Semua update kat Instagram aje eh sekarang?

Tup tup kita dah kat hujung 2012 dah kan. Diam tak diam dah nak masuk bulan November. Ni masa yang di tunggu oleh budak2 sekolah dan juga cikgu sekolah, like me! Can't wait for the holidays to start.

Can hardly wait for cuti raya next week too. Long weekend, bestnye, x sabar!

My superheroes pun dah makin besar. My first boy is so much taller than me now. Take a look at their latest pixx.




My first boy, dah anak teruna
dah.




My second boy, next year dah morning session. Harap2 dapat sampai sekolah on time, jangan lambat pulak.




My third boy. Suka sangat baca story books and comic.




And my bongsu. Jadi penghibur semua orang. Minat sangat dengan kereta, tiap-tiap minggu beli koleksi kereta.

Dan mana ye Superheroes' Mom?



Ya, saya masih di sini. Love to all who is still reading my much neglected blog. Take care, all!

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What goes around comes around.

Hari ini saya sekali lagi menyaksikan ke'bahlul'an seorang manusia. Tetapi saya percaya, setiap perbuatan jahat itu jika tidak dinilai dan dibalas di dunia, di akhirat nanti terimalah akibatnya. It's just a matter of time.

Meantime, I'll just wait. And SMILE......


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Anak Soleh. Solehkah saya?

Ramai selalu kata mereka sayang pada Ibu Bapa, tapi apakah cara terbaik untuk membalas jasa mereka? Dulu saya selalu fikir, caranya ialah dengan belikan hadiah yang mahal, berikan duit elaun ribu-ribuan saban bulan, belikan kereta, bawa bercuti di hotel mewah.... Ya, jika mampu apa salahnya... tapi sebenarnya yg lebih utama ialah kita harus berusaha menjadi anak yang soleh...

Semenjak kehilangan bapa tercinta pada bulan September tahun lalu, hati selalu sayu, selalu bertanya pada diri, belum cukup membalas jasa Bapa, belum puas mahu menjaga Bapa masa tua, Allah sudah mentakdirkan dia pergi... Bagaimana mahu terus berjasa padanya? Sudah terputuskah hubungan?

Allah maha Pemurah, setelah Dia ambil nyawa Ibu Bapa kita, anak-anak seperti kita masih boleh terus ada hubungan dengan Ibu Bapa, doa anak akan tetap sampai, terutama doa anak lelaki, tiada hijab di antara. Tetapi, haruslah dari anak yang soleh.

Solehkah saya? Sampaikah doa2 saya kepada Allah untuk Bapa? Terlalu lemah diri ini, masih terlalu jahil. Tapi hati dan niat terlalu mahu berjasa pada Bapa. Bukan senang rupanya mahu menjadi anak yang soleh. Bercakap saja, ya, memang boleh, tetapi melaksanakannya, tidak mudah....

Hati terlalu ingin menjadi anak yang soleh untuk Ibu dan Bapa, tapi mampukah diri ini? Berilah petunjuk ya Allah, kuatkanlah iman hambaMu ini yg selalu goyah ya Allah...

I found below, some info for my renungan...... And tindakan.....



Untuk mendidik diri agar menjadi insan yang solehah adalah dengan banyak melakukan amalan yang terpuji, berusaha untuk meninggalkan dosa-dosa yang kecil apakah lagi dosa-dosa besar. Jangan tinggalkan amalan yang wajib, jalinkan siraturrahim dengan sanak keluarga dan hormati kedua ibu bapa, sebab keredhaan Allah itu tergantung kepada keredhaan ibu bapa terhadap kita. Namun yang paling penting tutuplah aurat agar kehidupan mendapat
keberkatan Allah SWT.


Banyakkan membaca Al Quran dan berzikir insya Allah, hati akan menjadi tenang.
Doa-doa untuk mendidik hati dan diri, diantaranya adalah seperti berikut:-

*Doa agar terhindar dari kesesatan (Ali Imran ayat 8).
*Doa agar tetap pendirian (Ali Imran 147).
*Doa agar diberi rahmat (Al A'raf 23).


Berusahalah wahai diri.... Semoga kita sentiasa mendapat keredhaanNya......

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Of Commitments & Diversions.

Hiya peeps! Nearly a week into the school holiday, sigh, so fast it goes but I have not managed to mark all my essays yet. Have been back to my workplace though for the Exam Workshop and to conduct extra classes, plus monitoring the students rehearsing for the upcoming play. Seriously, I need to sit down and focus on the essays, I have to finish marking and keying in the marks before going off for a short getaway next week. I have started off well, managing to mark all Paper 1 for all classes, and half of Paper 2. I only have 2 more classes to go before calling it a day. But so much of distraction and thus I lost momentum. Arghhh! 

Started off well, nice rhythm and momentum going. CBTL's Cookies & Cream Ice-blended helped me along the way...... 

 Focus started wavering, had to rope in some Terry's chocolate orange to help me concentrate. 

 Momentum was fast diminishing, even Dr. Cafe's Ice Mocha Caramel did not help much.

 Diversion in the form of the delightful PINK STACK from Whisk.

Ahhhh, heaven...

And now, armed with Cheetos cheddar jalapeño, I am convinced that I will be able to finish marking the essays for one class today! I CAN DO IT!

YES, I CAN!

ROARRR!!

=D

Happy Birthday 2 & 4! ;-D

Oh gosh, it has been a superly-duperly busy two weeks! Exams going on at my workplace and my kiddos having exams also, in both Sekolah Kebangsaan and Sekolah Agama. As my maid has yet to arrive, my kids are still put in a 'transit' center which they are not particularly fond of. I told them to take it positively, in life we don't always get to do what we want or like all the time. But seriously though, hope the new maid arrives soon! 

Anyway, amidst the chaos and constant running around and worrying about a million things, we had a small birthday celebration at home for my No 2 and No 4. It was the first day of the week, imagine the madness. After work, went off straight to Citta Mall and bought the cake. Then, to the party shop for balloons and paper plates and whatnot. Went home to chill the cake, tidy up the mess of a house hahaha, and pick the children up from school & transit center. Decided on KFC for the celebration, unanimous vote from the kiddos that was. Once home, the boys showered and change into clean clothes, Mom and Dad too.

Finally, the small party started ;-)

It's the LOLA rainbow cake from Wondermilk. Six layers of buttery goodness!

My harta.... My four superheroes....

No 2 is now 9 years old...

My bongsu is now 4!

But he will forever remain as my Baby Azan ;-p

Happy Birthday boys. I will never forget the first moment I held you in my arms. Every year I am reminded of that beautiful, sweet moment in time and my heart filled with gratitude to Allah with His blessings. Please know that I love both of you very much, and maybe I will embarrass you from time to time (hahahah), do remember that I have you close to my heart, no matter when, no matter where. Be good, boys. My doa with you always.

Happy Mother's Day!

Hello everyone!

It has been awhile since I have last updated this blog. Do people even blog anymore? I don't know really. I have not blogwalked for sooooo long, I am not even sure whether my favorite blogs are still running. I am just sitting here, thinking of whether or not my students taking the exam in the hall can actually answer the paper (Oh I do hope that they will come up with good essays!), and my thoughts lingered on this long neglected blog of mine. Do I even have readers anymore? I think not, being lackadaisical in my updates, I am sure my regulars have gone, and never to return.

Anyway, I have returned to work, no more a stay-at-home mom. I am still adjusting to the new routine, and my children too are getting used to the change in their lives. The reason for my great life decision to return to the grind? Hmmnnnn...... would you be interested to know? Heheh. More importantly, have I made the right decision? I am still in the midst of finding the answer to that, trust me ;-)

Oh, back to the real topic. How was your Mother's Day weekend. I am sure you have had a fantabulous time, spoiling Mom, or getting spoilt yourself. I had a great time. Syukur Alhamdulillah for what Allah has bestowed upon me. For the rezeki, and for my harta, my family...... Now let's just look at the photos, eh?

Here's the latest photo of Superheroes & Mom! Heheh. Me and my mom and my grandma were treated to a Mother's Day dinner on Saturday, and a Mother's Day tea on Sunday. We were, needless to say, overwhelmed by the attention. We felt like true Queens ;-) 

And......... tra la la....... I received a bouquet of flowers, roses (BIG SMILE) from my superheroes! I was so excited I was literally like Kera Mendapat Bunga, oh no no no, that's not an apt idiom, because that means the flowers are destroyed by the foolish kera right. Hmnnnn.... okay okay, I will not bore you with more idioms.... Suffice to say, I was OVER THE MOON to receive the fabu bouquet from my boys. THANK YOU darlings......

And here...... the QUEEN of my heart, my bonda. No words could ever describe how much I love this lady. My own pillar of strength, my motivator, inspiration and my everything.....

Happy Mother's Day to all mommies out there. You truly are diamonds.

Curio.

Last Friday, me & my boys accompanied my mom to Nilai 3. Not to buy carpets or fabric to make baju kurung, but my Mom wanted to buy some 'decorative items' for her canteen. She had one particular shop in mind. Last few years, she went there with my late Dad, also while scouting for stuff to decorate her canteen with.

After searching for quite some time, we managed to locate the shop. It was having a clearance sale. The shop will be closed soon! Stuff were selling cheap. Stock clearance. Not many nice stuff left though. Barangan yang dipamer bukan lagi menjadi trend ketika ini. Nevertheless, my Mom did get what she wanted. And at a very low price too.

While she was making purchase, I went around the shop looking at all the curios on sale. Have a look fellow bloggerinas...
























What do you think? Pretty interesting, no?

And pssttt, I too went shopping. For tudungs! Pretty cheap. Good enough for everyday wear for me. Happy with my purchase!



So I would say, a worthwhile trip down to Nilai 3 ;-)

Here's wishing all of my dearest readers Happy New Year 2012! To an awesome year ahead! Cheers!

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The Rose.

Did I tell you about The Rose in the family? She's everyones favourite. Recently, she turned two. So we bought a big cake for her in her favourite cartoon character.



Here she is with her birthday cake.



She was happy to have Spongebob with her on her birthday, but we had to rescue it from her to prevent Spongebob from being mashed to mush by a pair of cute but dangerous hands.



Because you see, although being the only Princess, she is not the girly princessy type. She's spirited, brave and prefers cars to dolls. But, alas, as you are the only girl sweetie, you have to adhere being dolled.



And so she was 'forced' to be a wee fairy, and she had to surrender to it, but very reluctantly so ;-)

But we had our fun, and she received a dollhouse nevertheless, chosen by the brothers for her (sorry hon, your brothers want you to be a proper princess). Hehe! Spongebob settled in our tum-tums nicely and The Rose looked so pretty in her Polka Dot dress. To her Mama & Papa, thank you ever so much for bringing her into this world. The Rose really made our world pretty and wangi!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY to my niece TWINKLE! We love you so much. Though your beloved Atuk is no more with us in this world, be sure that he is watching over you always, for he really loves you too....

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A little revelation...

2011 has proven to be a year full of ups and downs. Of joy, of sorrow, of pain, of hope. It started out pretty normal and then it started to spiral downwards. My Dad was sick, hospitalized, diagnosed as having end-stage lung cancer and fought with all his might and strength before he succumbed to it only 50 days after knowing. How it had affected us? In a million heartbreaking ways that you couldn't possibly imagine. It hurts to even put it down in words, the heart still pains from the memory of the heartwrenching 50 days. Three months have passed, and I still have tears in my eyes whenever I thought of my beloved Dad. The pain is still so raw. The heart bleeds, bleeds, bleeds.

Namun, akur dan pasrah dengan ketentuanNya. Semuanya sudah tersurat di Luh Mahfuz. Ini takdir Allah. Jika Dia mengkehendaki sesuatu, maka jadilah. Kun Faya Kun. Hanya doa yang dapat dikirim, moga Allah memberi rahmah dan kasih sayangNya. Sesungguhnya, Dia lebih tahu.

I love you for always, Dad. You have never, ever let me down. So lucky for the 36 years that Allah had given me you.

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Makes People Happy ;-)

Scots Clan Meet Up

Once we lived in a place wreathed in magic and mystery. A place of reality and fantasy. A place of castles, dungeons, lochs and firths. A place of medieval streets of The Royal Mile co-existing with the neo-classical and Georgian architecture of the New Town. It is a perfect setting where fairy-tales are made, mythical, inspiring and absolutely stunning.

So special and magical and mysterious Edinburgh is that it had inspired JK Rowling's Harry Potter, Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes and Robert Louis Stevenson's Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

And it was at this place that we were fortunate enough to spend a few years of our lives, at an institute which is located right smack on The Royal Mile, next to the Scottish Parliament in Holyrood and The Holyrood Castle. We were bathed in history and culture! Even now, after 12 years we have left Edinburgh, our hearts yearn to be there again. To revel in it's beauty, mystery and magic.

And so with thoughts of Princes Street, Edinburgh Castle and Scottish Highlands in mind, we met again, six friends who will forever have a wee bit of Scottish spirit in our hearts and minds.



Checkered theme to commemorate our Scots Clan meet up. Next best thing to wearing an actual Scottish kilt, we agreed. Talks of Haggis, Fish & Chips, Scottish harsh winter & Ceilidh were included. Hehehe!



There were food, plenty of food.



















And there were smiles, laughter, playful banter, happiness, tears, joy, sadness and lots and lots of love.



Until we meet again: Beannacht leat go bhfeicfidh mé aris thú.

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