I never expected to be pregnant again. To tell you the truth, both my husband and I decided when we had our fourth that that would be the absolute last time for me to go through pregnancy, delivery and the whole process. We were thinking, four dah cukup. Furthermore, during my fourth pregnancy, I developed hypertension. I had to take Methyldopa and was closely monitored by my gynae. Alhamdulillah, everything was ok and I was even lucky enough to still deliver secara normal. So lepas tu kami pun sama-sama agreed untuk redha bahawa we were not destined to get a baby girl. And we were alright with that. We told each other Allah knows best.
And so I went on to find out out the best possible method of contraception for us. Tubal ligation was out of the question as I was still young, 33 at the time and Dr. said risk of ectopic pregnancy tinggi... AND... Dr. Stressed that I might change my mind later and want a reversal procedure. And so the best thing was the IUCD. It has a high success rate. Or so I thought.....
Four years on, with the IUCD still intact, I got pregnant again! It's quite funny really as I didn't realized I was pregnant until
the 9th week of pregnancy. Ye lah, kita kan pakai contraceptive, mana nak sangka got pregnant kan. The first month after conception tu was during the end of the year school holiday. The month of December. Masa tu I punya la rajin bersenam. Brisk walk/slow jog tiap hari around the neighborhood n twice a week siap pegi jogging kat Taman Tasik Shah Alam. That time rasa energetic je but looking back, I mmg asyik haus n kerap pegi toilet. But I thot sbb I byk minum air! Then ada juga la I rasa cam dizzy after jogging, I thought I x cukup stamina! Pastu, lepas jogging I rasa letih lain mcm. Kadang mcm rasa nk demam! I started rasa x sedap hati. At that time my husband banyak events di luar KL/Sel. So one late night when I felt so tired n had numerous trips to the loo, I called my husband. I said I suspect I hv some kind of disease. Ada something not right with my body. And told him semua lah yg I rasa & my suspicion that I might hv such n such penyakit due to the symptoms I'm getting. Husband was so worried and said nnt dia balik kita pergi buat full medical check-up. I told him ok, n for him x to worry so much.
When he got back, we actually had to balik his kampung in Terengganu for a small kenduri. So I said takpe kot, bila balik KL semula baru lah pergi hospital for check-up. So kitorang balik kg. At kg, when I sarungkan baju kurung raya tahun lepas tu, I felt it was just nice around the waist padahal during raya lain tu longgar kena lipat2. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. My belly mcm a bit keras & naik di bhgn atas. My heart accelerated. I was thinking could it be? I quickly calculated my last time I had my menses. I was gobsmacked! I mcm x boleh percaya. Then I whispered my suspicion to hubby. So shocked was he that he did not speak to me nearly a whole day after that. Kecik hati la jugak kan but then well maybe he was trying to digest and came to terms of the probability that what I said holds water.
Anyway, I pulak after the discovery, had no doubt that it was true. I was 100% sure I was 'knocked-up'! My feelings at that time? Susah nak cakap. I was shocked. I was nervous. It was totally unexpected. I wasn't prepared. I was not sure I could go through all of that one more time. Forgive me, but that's how I felt.
Until I saw the little bean for the first time. The ultrasound scan showed me its heart beating rapidly, showing me it was determined to stay. That we were meant to meet. That it had fought so hard to be there, to be my baby. My fifth child. My miracle. I was overwhelmed with a feeling so strong and love so deep for that tiny little thing on the screen. I was blessed. I was humbled by God's generosity towards me.
And now I'm in my 19th week of pregnancy. Baru halfway. Yes, I am taking Methyl Dopa cos I hv hypertension n it's not going away so easily. Apart from my gynae, I regularly see my cardiologist, to keep my blood pressure under control. I try to take things easy. Try to not to fret about things. Hopefully I will hv a smooth pregnancy throughout n a smooth delivery too.
Had my check-up last two says n it looked like a pink muffin. Hopefully betul la ;-) Mommy ni x dapat menahan diri dari menjenguk baby stuff last Sunday dan terjadilah pembelian2 yg menyeronokkan. Isk isk. Cannot be helped.
And now my rambling today must stop here. Be careful semua!
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